When my own writing makes me cry…

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It is always a weird feeling when I read back over something I have written and find myself crying for the characters.  I had no idea that reading my own writing could have this effect – it seems stupid – I wrote it, after all, therefore I know what is coming.  But still I find myself crying when I read particular scenes involving particular characters.

Most of the time the characters in mention are Jenna and Lucas, a couple in one of my neverending WIPs, who have experienced the heartache of losing a child.  Their whole storyline resonates with me, I guess because I have experienced pregnancy losses (though none in the way Jenna and Lucas have) and to an extent the emotions I put into the story and based on my own experiences.  I cry when reading back over the story of Jenna’s second trimester miscarriage, but equally I cry when I read about Jenna finding out she is pregnant again, when I read about their wedding, when I read about other touching moments they share as a couple.

I have just written the birth of their son, Theo, and now I find myself crying again.  My characters all seem real to me, I feel as if I know them personally, but it is especially the case when it comes to Jenna and Lucas.  I can’t quite explain why, but I feel emotionally invested in the lives of these two fictional characters.

I am used to reading a story not written by me and developing similar feelings about characters but I wasn’t prepared to feel that way about characters of my own creation.  Perhaps their storyline (and therefore they, as characters) feel more realistic to me because I know couples who been through what they have gone through… family members and some of my best friends have experienced the heartbreak that comes with the loss of a child.  As my wife says, it is the club no one wants to be a part of, but sadly, so many are.

I am sure that in the near future I will share the scene I have just written, but in the meantime I will post a link to the story of Jenna and Lucas and their precious angel Sasha.

Losing Sasha *trigger warning*

*as I mentioned the above story is about second trimester miscarriage and could be potentially triggering, especially to those who have experienced a similar loss

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