It has been 3 1/2 years since I ‘came out’ as Bree. In that time I’ve shared excerpts of my writing, as well as my thoughts on a broad variety of issues relating to sex, from sexuality, to abuse, to being a sex positive parent. I was quite happy having two personas because it kept my private life private, and allowed me to share my writing under the ‘disguise’ of Bree.
Toward the start of this year I began feeling a little detached from Bree. I put it down to the fact I was unable to write as much as I’d like because the ‘real’ me was too busy. Between being a mum, wife, and student, there isn’t a lot of time left to be Bree, or to give Bree the attention she deserved.
I got quite down about it, wondering if I’d lost my writing mojo – a possibility that terrified me – to the point it added to my ‘real life’ anxiety. I knew that my reaction to this thought acted as proof I still had the passion to write, but something just felt off. I started losing that connection to Bree; I still wanted to write, but I just didn’t feel like the same person I was when I created her.
Finally, after months of internal rambling and reflection, last night it occurred to me that I feel this disconnect from Bree because over the past 3 1/2 years I have evolved. I am not the same person or writer that I was when I nervously clicked ‘publish’ on my first post as Bree. It also struck me that rather than being upset, I felt kind of proud.
My writing has evolved – both in style and theme – as a writer of fiction, and as a blogger. As far as the sex-blogging goes, I believe a lot of this has to do with our children getting older, and realising what a scary world it is out there; I don’t feel so much like a sex blogger now, as a ‘social and women’s issues’ blogger. That still encompasses sex, but it also includes so much more now, I guess as my awareness about societal issues grows.
So what does this mean for Bree?
What it means is I am no longer going to hide behind ‘Bree’. I am in the process of starting a new blog where I can be the real me. As with this blog, I’ll share my writing and my thoughts on the world, but I will be able to do so in a more rounded way. I’ll still write about sex but I will also write about trying to juggle family and being a full time student, I’ll write about the trials and tribulations of parenting, particularly as we enter the tween and teen years with three out of our four kids. On the fiction writing front, I will share my erotica, but I’ll also share my progress as I dabble in YA fiction, and anything else that may pop up as this evolution continues!
When the new blog is ready I will let everyone know. The followers I’ve gained on this blog are all incredibly important to me, and I really hope you’ll follow me over to my new blog and continue this journey with me!