Sex positive parenting: the book we are going to burn


My wife and I are huge book lovers, the word ‘bibliophile’ definitely comes to mind.  On top of this, we are also very sex(uality) positive when it comes to parenting, both wanting our four children to grow up with a healthy understanding of sex and sexuality, theirs and in general.  Our eldest daughter is 11 now and is going through puberty; she loves reading puberty books, demolishes the damn things, then reads them two, three, four more times… and a month later will get them out from the library again.  It got to the point we ended up buying the books for her.

A few months back we were in our regular secondhand bookshop, perusing the shelves full of booky potential.  I came across a hardcover book – ‘Questions Kids Ask about Sex: Honest answers for every age’, Melissa R. Cox (ed) – and thought HEY!  THAT SOUNDS FUCKING BRILLIANT!  I checked inside and saw it was published in 2005 – great – the information would be relatively up to date and would probably be from a modern viewpoint.  It was $3.00, I had to get it!

Home we came.  Into the bookshelf the book went.  Forgotten it was.

For whatever reason, my wife got it out of the bookshelf… the next thing I heard from her was a gasp of dismay.

“What’s wrong?” I asked.  She began reading :

Masturbation isn’t inherently physically damaging unless excessive force or instruments are used; however it can be emotionally destructive and even become a substitute for relational intimacy in marriage.  Your child should understand that masturbation can become addictive and he can lessen the risk for this addiction by having an honest sex education grounded in the values of abstinence until marriage…. In addition you should strongly encourage him to avoid the use of pornography, drugs, and alcohol if he wishes to avoid the consequences associated with becoming addicted to masturbation.  If you’ve discovered (or heard) your child masturbating… remind him of the dangers of pornography; obsessive, all-consuming masturbation; and group masturbation.  (pg 147)

I wasn’t sure I had heard right, but she then went on to read another juicy little segment, leaving me with my mouth wide open, looking at her in shock.  What the hell?  How could such a book be in our house?  Only a few weeks ago I posted on this very blog about why women should embrace masturbation, and here this book was, explaining just how evil it is, listing numerous reasons to encourage your child not to masturbate.

Notice the use of the pronoun ‘him‘?  I guess girls don’t masturbate, right?  Nor would they look at pornography.  Na ah, as a 16 year-old no way did I masturbate, and I have never ever ever EVER looked at porn.  Yeah right!

After my wife had flicked through it she threw it at me (literally threw it) and told me to have a read before we burnt it.  Yes.  We are going to burn this book.

Not only is masturbation addictive, so is pornography.  Here is a handy little hint for what to say to your son if you catch him looking at porn:

Pornography is the stimulation of sexual curiosity and drive outside the bounds of a healthy, nurturing marriage relationship with a real person; in effect, it can become a substitute for healthy relationships and become addictive.  In fact, anything that takes the place of a healthy relationship will, by nature, become addictive.  (pg 145)

Porn though, as well as being addictive, is a harmful marriage killer!

While pornography is harmful to single men, for married men, it’s a marriage killer.  Simply put, pornography destroys an individual’s ability to be satisfied with sex with a real person and puts a spouse in an unfair competition. (pg 190)

Yeap, that’s the truth, anything that makes you feel good is bad for you, mmmkay?  *I am now rolling my eyes and scowling*


Speaking of things that feel good being bad for you, anal sex is a big no go, did you know that

Anal sex is never a healthy behaviour, not even in marriage. (pg 191)

And loosely related to the subjec of anal sex…

Homosexual curiosity doesn’t mean you’re homosexual.  Feelings and attractions aren’t always under one’s control.  Behaviour choices are controllable.  Choosing to engage in homosexual behaviour can be physically emotional and dangerous. (pg 201)

And then we have some pearls of wisdom from the ‘Abstinence is Attainable’ easy reference box

Don’t let your teen be home alone with the opposite sex – after school or anytime!
Remind your daughter that how she dresses will communicate to guys the type of girl she is.
Have a man (dad, uncle, grandpa) discuss with your daughter what turns guys on. (pg 177)

But what about when he (or she!) puts a ring on it?

Is there any danger in having sex while I’m engaged?
The engagement is a time for a couple to get professional counselling to uncover any basic problems that are likely to lead to divorce . They either deal with these issues or cancel the engagement.  Sexual intercourse during this time may mask some basic personality differences that might lead to divorce. (pg 259)

And there is, after all, nothing worse than divorce!  No. Thing.  At. All.  It’s much healthier to stay in a loveless and/or unhealthy marriage!  Chances are if you are considering divorce, you probably had sex while you were engaged.  Bad, bad, BAD you!

I have to say, I also love the way this book remains neutral, particularly when discussing emergency contraception:

The pill can alter the lining of the uterus so that if the first and second actions fail, the tiny baby will die because it cannot attach to the lining of the uterus. (pg 291)

I am absolutely convinced that the wording ‘the tiny baby will die’ won’t evoke any emotional response.  Nope   In no way would it make a young woman feel guilty about considering taking the morning after pill.  It definitely isn’t intended as guilt trip!

As with all books about sex, unplanned pregnancy comes up, and the options are listed in order of preference; (1) adoption, (2) keeping the baby as a single parent, (3) marrying the father of your baby, and finally, the last option – abortion.  Naturally abortion is also dealt with from a very neutral position:

… life begins when the sperm from a male fertilises the egg of a female.  The new life has inherited 23 chromosomes from each parent, 46 in all.  This one cell contains the complex genetic blueprint for every detail of human development – the child’s sex, hair and eye colour, athletic ability, musical ability, and personality.  Then only food and oxygen are needed for the baby to grow from one cell to a seven pound baby nine months later.  The baby’s heart begins to beat on day 21.  By day 22 the foundation for every organ system is established and developing.  At nine weeks, the baby is unmistakably recognised as a human being… While pregnancy can be terminated by an abortion, the memory of the pregnancy will last a lifetime… Abortion isn’t without risks, and complications can and do occur.  Some women are never able to get pregnant in the future, and then you must live with the fact that you ended your one and only pregnancy. (pg 215)

Considering I have had an abortion, this last part really got my hackles up.  It’s enough to get your head around without essentially being told ‘you’ll be murdering a baby, you know that, right?’.  I am pretty sure that each and every woman will understand that by having an abortion she is ending a pregnancy, therefore ending a life – or potential life – depending on the individual woman’s views.  Who cares if you are poor?  Who cares if you are in an abusive relationship?  Who cares if you’re 14?  Who cares if you have dreams?  Who cares if you want to provide a better life for your child than you could even come close to at that point in time?  Who cares about what that child’s life might be like after their 9 months inside?

I think now is a good time to finish this post, because quite frankly, looking at this book is making me feel sick… and it is making me want to throw it at the wall, to burn it; to douse it in petrol, strike a match, toss it on and watch it – and its shitty advice – go up in flames.

After reading it I understand why so many  people have issues with everything related to sex and sexuality.  If this is the type of bullshit fed to kids from an early age (I kid you not, there are techniques for dealing with sex-related issues with INFANTS in this book), no wonder they grow into children, teenagers, young adults and adults with screwed-up ideas about sex and sexuality.  No wonder there are adults who are ashamed of masturbation, no wonder there are couples who argue endlessly about pornography, no wonder there are adults who are ashamed of their bodies, no wonder… ugh, you know what I am getting at.

I am sure there are people who found this book useful, some for whom it is a parenting handbook of sorts… and to be honest, it makes me scared for their children.  Yes, children, teens, young adults need to be educated about sex, they need to know the dangers and risks, they need to be given the tools to make healthy decisions, there NEEDS to be communication… but I don’t know that using scare tactics is the way to go.

Is it right to be telling children (of any age) that masturbation is unhealthy?  That pornography is evil?  That forms of sex are wrong?  That the way a child feels is wrong, or something to be ashamed of?  Quite simply, the answer is no.

It really does scare me that books such as this are in existence – and I guess more than the books – it scares me that these attitudes toward sex exist.  Parenting is by no means easy and I understand the need for this type of book, just not for THIS book in particular.  Luckily there are some really great books out there that are aimed at older children/teens which give a more positive outlook on sex and sexuality.  It is these books our children should be reading, it is the attitudes toward sex and sexuality in such books, that can only have a positive effect on those reading them; that goes for both parents and children.

The accidental orgasm


There is a particular story I have been writing for well over a year now.  It won’t get published, no one else will probably read it in its entirety but my wife… but it is one I can’t stop writing.  I guess I have a bond with the four characters and I need their story to be finished – for myself – more than anything!

…. if you want to skip straight to the good stuff, feel free!

… if not, read on!

The story revolves around two couples – Jenna & Lucas, and India & James – both couples are expecting a baby (or in the case of India & James, twins), but their backstories couldn’t be more different.  Jenna and Lucas have been together for years and are expecting a baby after the heartbreaking loss of their first baby five years earlier, while  India and James have only been together a couple of months when they find out they are expecting twins.  Both couples have their own hurdles to overcome… but of course they do just that, and live happily ever after.

(I like happily ever afters, so sue me!)

This excerpt is from India & James side of the story.  As a little background, India was put on strict bedrest a couple of months prior to this scene.  One of the restrictions was that she wasn’t allowed to have sex, or to orgasm, needless to say they are both very sexually frustrated and have reached breaking point.  To give India a break, James books two nights in a hotel (with the midwife’s approval!)… this scene takes place when they arrive at the hotel.

(I know pregnancy erotica isn’t everyone’s cup of tea, but I also know other posts of mine including pregnancy sex have been very popular)


By the time they got to the hotel it felt as if they were in another city, both were relaxed and James could tell India was happier than she had been since going on bedrest. She was even happier when they found their room had a waterfront view and a large patio with loungers for them to blob out on.

“I love you,” India sighed happily as they lay down on the large king size bed.

“I love you more,” James replied and kissed her softly.

James was surprised by the hunger with which India returned his kiss, her tongue tangling with his, moaning softly as she dug her fingers into his side. Before he knew what was happening India moved a hand between them and slipped it inside his shorts and boxers. Her palm was hot against his cock and he knew they were playing a very dangerous game, it would be a major battle to stop themselves before they got too carried away.

But he didn’t want to stop, and he knew she didn’t either. One of them was going to have to be the strong one and he hoped they could stop themselves before it was too late. It was as if they had no control over what they were doing, like their instincts had taken over… or perhaps they had both finally reached the limit of what they could handle.

They were quickly undressed and touching each other in a way they hadn’t for a long time. James very carefully pressed his fingers inside India, making sure he didn’t go too deep – but it was a huge mistake – a huge mistake that made his cock throb and his body tense up as he fought the urge to plunge deep inside her. India hit his hand away and he was glad one of them had the sense to stop things, that was until India slowly got to her hands and knees, and straddled him. His cock was sandwiched against her pussy, her wetness drenching him, causing his cock to pulsate more insistently. Continue reading

Jamie finally gets to live out her m/f/m fantasy (part 2)


Yesterday I posted part one of Jamie’s threesome with Josh and Marcus… as promised here is part two!



After a few minutes she began feeling alive again and having two hard cocks pressing against her was making her feel alive in more ways than one.

“Perhaps we should get in the bed properly,” Jamie suggested and Josh chuckled.

“It might be a bit more comfortable,” Josh agreed as the three of them sat up.

“You still okay with this?” Marcus asked and Jamie liked that he did. They had spoken at length about how important it was for one of them to say if they wanted to stop, and that if any of them went through with it just to keep the others happy, it would end badly.

“Very okay with this, as long as both of you are,” Jamie replied as they all got off the bed and she pulled back the covers.

“Oh, I am more than okay with it,” Marcus said with a smirk as he pulled his pants and boxers down, making it visually clear just how okay he was with it.

“Does it look like I want to stop?” Josh asked pointedly as he too lost his pants and boxers. Jamie whimpered as she chewed on her bottom lip – seven years they had been together – and the sight of him in his naked, tattooed glory still made her breath hitch

Jamie sat in the middle of the bed and patted the empty space on either side of her, winking at both of the men as she did so. Josh got in the bed and began to kiss her hungrily. It seemed only natural to move her hand down and when she gripped him tightly she felt a renewed clenching deep inside. Josh groaned loudly as Jamie started moving her hand up and down his cock, and as she moved her other hand to Marcus’s crotch, she could hear Marcus’s breathing getting faster, then much louder when she finally took him in her fist.

Two cocks. She had two cocks in her hands. Jamie couldn’t really believe the situation she found herself in. It had been nothing more than a fantasy for a long time and to be able to live it out was an incredible feeling; the fact she was doing it with the love of her life and her best friend made it even better.

The three of them had always been open about their sex lives and while Josh and Marcus both made it clear they had no desire to experiment with other men, she loved that they were comfortable enough with each other and their own sexuality to help make her fantasy come true. It was by no means the sort of thing you could ask any old friend to do.

It didn’t take much for Jamie to get carried away. Having two cocks at her mercy gave her an arousing sense of power, the groans and moans coming from Josh and Marcus spurring her on to move her hands faster. She probably could keep going until they both got off, but that wasn’t how she wanted the night to end for the two men. She wanted their night to end when they were both buried deep inside her, spent, after filling her with their cocks and their cum. Both men were like steel in her hands and her pussy was beyond sopping wet.

She knew they were all ready to take the next step.

Jamie broke off the kiss between her and Josh, and smiled softly at him. ‘I love you,’ she mouthed and Josh gave her an adoring look as he mouthed ‘I love you‘ back. It was time. She knew it, he knew it, and turning around to look at Marcus, the wild look on his face suggested he knew it was well.

Lying down, Jamie rolled onto her side and smiled at Marcus then lightly pressed her lips against his and immediately felt her pussy reacting. His cock was solid against her belly, while Josh’s was equally hard against the small of her back as he kissed along the back of her shoulders and traced lazy circles on her hip.

The kiss between her and Marcus became more passion-fuelled and instinctively Jamie pressed her hips against him. His body felt so strong and hard against her own, familiar, safe… but at the same time it was something she felt detached from.

Josh pressed up behind her and when she felt the tip of his cock nudge against the crack of her ass she let out an deep-seeded moan as flashbacks of his cock moving slowly in and out of her ass flooded her memory. The length of Marcus’s cock was pressing against her slit, the pressure causing her cunt to clench uncontrollably – she needed Josh, she needed Marcus – every single nerve in her body was craving the feeling of their cocks.

It was time.

Jamie gave Marcus a subtle nod of her head, which he returned, their signal for ‘ready‘. With Marcus’s permission granted, Jamie moved her top leg over his hip and tilted her hips until she felt the swollen tip of his cock pressing against her hole. Very slowly Marcus pulled on her hips and as his cock slid inside, Jamie held her breath, exhaling loudly when his cock came in contact with the back of her pussy.

Behind her she felt Josh rolling away, then rolling back in toward her. The sound of the lid on the tube of lubricant being opened made her heart race, but not as much as the sensation of Josh applying the lube to her hole. Anticipation caused her to hold her breath for the moment she felt Josh’s index finger probing at her asshole and as he gently worked it inside her she let out a loud whimper. Her whimper turned to a shaky moan when Josh added a second finger and as he slowly moved them in and out, Jamie found herself wanting – needing – more, namely his cock.

When he moved his fingers away from her hole Jamie could picture him coating his stiff cock with lube. She could picture the excited yet tender look on his face as he ran his fingers down her spine, she could picture the way he was biting his lip as he lined himself up and started to very gently rub the tip of his cock around her hole.

Marcus winked at her and put his hand behind her head and pulled her in for a kiss. Jamie moaned softly against Marcus’s mouth and moved her arm behind her, putting it on Josh’s hip, their agreed upon signal that he could officially make her fantasy come true.

Almost imperceptibly slowly Josh began to penetrate her asshole, and Jamie groaned against Marcus’s mouth. It didn’t hurt, it wasn’t uncomfortable, but the sensation of being filled up in that way was always one that took a few moments for her to get used to.

Jamie could feel herself being stretched open with such an intensity it was almost too much for her. Again, not uncomfortable, just overwhelming. Pleasurably overwhelming.

When Josh was all the way inside he remained perfectly still for a few seconds, giving her body a chance to get used to the intrusion. Instinctively Jamie began to move her hips against Marcus, amazed by just how sensitive she felt with two cocks inside her in comparison to just the one. Everything was amplified, the pressure, the friction, the delicious stretch… it already felt more amazing than she had dreamed it would and they had barely started moving!

They took it very slowly. Even though the threesome was technically about her, she wanted it to be a pleasurable experience for Marcus and Josh as well and she knew that taking their time was a way to ensure that happened. Taking it slowly would also give Marcus and Josh a chance to get accustomed to feeling each other as they moved against Jamie.

Everyone had acknowledged it wasn’t only Jamie that would be experiencing something she had never felt before, the same went for Marcus and Josh, who, even though they were in different holes, would be able to feel each other’s cocks. Before they had agreed to go through with it Jamie had wanted to know that it was something they felt 100% okay about. She didn’t want the experience to leave either feeling awkward or for it to change things between the two men. Yes, things would change slightly, but she didn’t want them to change in a bad or negative way. It was only with reassurances from both men that they had finally agreed to go through with it.

Josh kept his movements nice and slow, gliding in and out in a way that heightened sensation for her, making each stroke of his cock more pleasurable. Marcus was moving faster and Jamie loved the way his cock was hitting the back of her pussy at an angle that meant her A-spot was getting a lot of stimulation. The position of her hips meant ther was almost constant friction against her clit and it felt divine; she really had the best of both worlds. Josh’s cock was rubbing against nerves that didn’t usually get stimulated and that was heightening the pleasure caused by the spots Marcus was hitting.

The more into it Jamie got, the faster she moved her hips and the inevitable result was that both men began moving faster. She was crying out louder with each increase in the speed of their hips and knew that her cries were spurring the men on; though they had agreed to take things slow, they soon enough reached the point that she needed it harder and faster – in both holes – and the men were only too happy to comply.

She could feel how swollen Josh’s cock was as he moved inside her with powerful yet careful movements. He was unable to control the volume of his groans and Jamie was sure that with each powerful drive of his hips, his groans were getting louder and more desperate. Marcus was a little less careful with his thrusts, but that was the way Jamie liked it – she needed to feel his cock slamming into her pussy – it was in perfect contrast to Josh’s more controlled movements.

The sensation of fullness really was like nothing she had ever experienced before. Before they got started she knew she it would feel different, but she had no idea just how much! That fullness was at its best when Marcus and Josh somehow got into a rhythm and were both on the in-thrust at the same time. Having two cocks moving in her at the same time created a huge stretch at the peak of the stroke, followed by a second of feeling suddenly empty before BOOM, overwhelming fullness again.

Jamie felt almost crazed as the full/empty/full sensation was repeated over, and over, and over; her clit was throbbing wildly, the walls of her pussy were swollen and growing more sensitive with each of Marcus’s thrusts. Her ass was much the same, only it was a lot more sensitive than her cunt, every stroke of Josh’s hard, thick length elliciting a deep moan from her.

In the deepest recesses of her pussy she could feel her orgasm developing, it was like a storm brewing and she knew that when it hit, it was going to hit hard. Her hips were moving at a frantic pace that she wasn’t controlling – she gave herself over to the sensation and let her hips move naturally – she had never felt quite so out of control during sex. It was a very primal, almost animalistic feeling.

Marcus and Josh both felt hot and sweaty against her but that only added to the overall experience, as did the loud guttural groans coming from both of them. Knowing them as well as she did sexually, she could tell both men were getting close to their rapturous peak and somehow she gave herself over even more to the sensation coursing through her system. She allowed herself to feel everything and in a way reached a mental state of zen like relaxation, instantly that feeling of a storm brewing deep inside her increased and she braced herself for what was to come.

“Harder… now… pl-” Jamie begged, not needing to finish her plea as both men immediately picked up the pace and began slamming into her.


She could feel heat spreading throughout her body. Her toes, her calves, her thighs, her abdomen, her chest, her shoulders, her head. Intense heat, coursing from a place she didn’t even know existed inside.


It spread faster than the heat, her entire body going rigid and taut as that storm approached, waiting to burst free.


She was screaming louder than she had ever screamed before, her throat feeling raw, her lungs burning.


The room was spinning, she felt as if she was watching the whole thing taking place from outside of her body.

Then it hit. Hard, fierce, violent.

Her body shook to the core as the walls of her pussy gripped and released Marcus’s cock with so much power she was aware of his groans becoming deeper, louder, almost pained, as his own orgasm was triggered. He pushed into her with one final, forceful thrust, his cock hitting her A-spot so hard that a second orgasm hit out of nowhere and she let out a strangled scream as she experienced sensory overload that was so pleasurable she felt she might pass out from it.

Josh’s fingers digging into her hip snapped her out of it and as the foggy haze started to clear, he let out a loud grunt and pushed into her, his cock hitting deeper than it had at any point, ever. Jamie could feel his cock pulsating against her walls as he emptied himself inside her ass, his fingers digging so deeply into her hip, it was as if he was hanging on for dear life.

And then they were still. The room was filled with sounds of the laboured breathing of three people who had experienced three indescribable orgasms. Jamie was conscious of Josh slowly pulling out of her and seconds later she felt Marcus’s cock leaving her pussy. Suddenly she was empty. There was an incredible void inside her; she could feel her cunt almost quivering at the sudden emptiness.


She had never felt so swollen, or tender. Or beautifully sated.

Jamie briefly pressed her lips against Marcus’s, before managing the effort of rolling over and finally being face-to-face with Josh. The beautiful man who would do anything for her.

Josh smiled softly at her as he moved his hand up and stroked her cheek while looking adoringly at her.

“I love you,” Josh whispered and Jamie felt close to tears as she returned his smile.

“I love you too,” Jamie replied, leaning in and softly brushing her lips against his.

Behind her Jamie could feel Marcus rolling over onto his stomach and giggled quietly when he began quietly snoring.

“How about we let him sleep and go have a shower?” Jamie suggested quietly and Josh nodded in agreement.

“Sounds good to me,” Josh replied, kissing her again before rolling over and getting out of the bed.

Jamie and Josh picked up their clothes from the floor and tip-toed out of the room, closing the door quietly behind them. Walking into their bedroom Jamie rolled her eyes as she felt cum dribbling down her inner thighs. Sex. It wasn’t always pretty! She followed Josh into the ensuite and both dropped their clothes in the hamper as they passed it. He turned the shower on and she put both of their robes on the heated towel rail, ready for when they got out… there was nothing she liked more than getting out of the shower and putting a toasty warm robe on!

When they stepped into the shower cubicle Jamie immediately found her way into Josh’s arms. She smiled against his chest as the water coursed over them, the soothing heat pelting against her skin in a way that made her feel unexpectedly sleepy. Obviously picking up on the drowsy state she was in, Josh took over the role of washing her.

He started with her hair; his hands felt so good massaging her scalp that she let out relaxed sigh after relaxed sigh. When he was done with her hair his soapy hands roamed her body, cleansing every inch of skin with a heavenly touch so light she could barely feel it. He was very gentle when he dropped to his knees and soaped between her legs. Any other time, having hands between her legs like that would have led to steamy shower sex, but not that night. It was no exaggeration to say she was sexed out and all she wanted to do was snuggle up in bed with Josh, his arms protectively around her, their legs entwined, listening to the sound of each other breathing.

Fifteen minutes later that is exactly where they were. Josh went as far as putting her favourite mink blanket on top of the duvet, creating an extra cosy feeling when he pulled the blankets right up around her head the way she liked. His skin was soft and warm against hers and although she wasn’t up for sex, she couldn’t keep her hands off him, tracing the designs tattooed on his belly with a lazy finger, enjoying the way his skin felt against her fingertips.

“Thank you for tonight,” Jamie whispered.

“Did it live up to the image in your mind?” Josh asked curiously and Jamie moved up slightly, Josh repositioning the blankets over them.

“It was better than anything I had dreamed up,” Jamie admitted and could feel herself blushing as she remembered what they’d been doing only an hour earlier.

“You have no idea how happy that makes me,” Josh replied and kissed her on the forehead.

“Was it… was it weird for you?” Jamie had to ask. Josh chuckled quietly.

“Is it something I would want to do every night? No,” Josh replied, continuing, “Was it weird? Well, it was a little at the start, but when things started properly, when I was playing with your nipples and Marcus was eating you, I kind of just focused on what I was doing and how you were responding,” he told her, taking a break to kiss her. When the kiss came to an end he carried on, “by the time we got down to the – uh – main act, if you will, I got so carried away by what I was doing that I wasn’t really thinking about the fact Marcus was in bed with us,” he explained.

“But you could obviously feel him?” Jamie asked, enjoying that they could be so open about what had just happened.

“I could, but like I said, I was more focused on what I was doing to you. I guess if none of us were really into it it would have been a different story, it’s probably all I would have focused on, but it didn’t bother me at all,” Josh responded.

“Just so you know, it’s not something I’d want to do every night either,” Jamie reassured him.

“Would you do it again?” Josh asked seriously and Jamie shrugged.

“I don’t think so,” Jamie replied honestly. “I got it out of my system,” she giggled, then corrected herself, “well, in my system,” and they both laughed. “I know it is a major cliché, but you are more than enough man for me,” she finished, meaning every single word of it.

“I love you, you crazy woman,” Josh yawned and Jamie grinned at him.

“I love you too, you crazy man,” Jamie replied and pressed her lips against his.

“Sweet dreams,” Josh yawned again and after one final kiss Jamie rolled over in his arms and yawned loudly.

Very soon she felt sleep starting to take over, and mused that with Josh’s body pressed up against her, his arms protectively around her and the blankets pulled all the way up, it could have been any normal night for them. Had they really just had a threesome?!

When Jamie woke the next morning she stretched out and smiled sleepily. She loved Saturday mornings. No 6am wake up call. No work. Nowhere to be. It was heaven. Though it had never been something they had discussed or agreed on, Josh always let her sleep in on Saturday mornings. On Sunday morning they tended to spend most of their time in bed together, but on Saturday Josh left Jamie to sleep, telling her she deserved it after how hard she worked during the week.

In reality, Jamie knew it was really a way for him to spend time playing video games or watching his favourite martial arts movies, but she didn’t mind. Just because they were in a relationship didn’t mean they needed to spend every spare second of their time together, besides, when she did surface on a Saturday morning Josh always stopped what he was doing and they did things together.

That particular morning Jamie felt nervous and it took her a couple of minutes to put a finger on why. Yes, somehow she had managed to forget about the fact she, Josh and Marcus had had a threesome only 12 hours earlier. She had no idea whether Marcus was still there and if he was, she had no idea what the atmosphere would be like between him and Josh. They had all agreed they had the type of friendship that wouldn’t be negatively impacted if they went through with the threesome, but she wasn’t an idiot, she knew that until you were in that time and place you really had no idea how you’d react to something.

Part of her wanted to stay in bed and hide, part of her desperately wanted a coffee and it didn’t take long before the coffee-loving part won out. Jamie got out of bed and put trackpants and a T-shirt on, taking a deep breath before she opened the bedroom door. From where she stood in the hall Jamie could hear the unmistakeable faux-car sounds of a video game and walking toward the lounge she could hear voices. Marcus was obviously still there. Surely that was a good sign that things weren’t awkward between the two men?

Jamie opened the lounge door and entered, not at all surprised to find the two men on the couch, video game controllers in hand and an empty packet of chocolate biscuits on the floor. It wasn’t until she was standing right beside Josh that he even noticed she was there.

“Morning babe,” Josh greeted her, not taking his eyes of the TV screen.

“Hey sleepy,” Marcus joked, his eyes not leaving the TV screen either.

“Both of you sleep okay?” Jamie asked, sitting down beside Josh.

“Fine,” Josh replied, eyes still glued to the screen.

“Best sleep I’ve had in ages,” Marcus announced, but like Josh, his eyes didn’t leave the screen.

“Coffee?” Jamie offered and Josh nodded his head.

“Yes please, I will beat this douchebag in just a second,” Josh replied, then laughed loudly as the car Marcus was controlling crashed and burst into flames.

“You’re a cheat!” Marcus cried out and Jamie watched, amused, as Josh poked his tongue out at him.

“Na, you just suck!” Josh said gleefully.

“Whatever, dick, I let you win!” Marcus retorted and Jamie rolled her eyes.

“How old are the two of you meant to be again?” Jamie asked teasingly.

“I guess we should stop while I’m ahead,” Josh sighed and Jamie winked at Marcus.

“I dunno about that, it’ll take me a few minutes to make the coffee, I’m sure there is enough time for Marcus to beat you,” Jamie suggested innocently.

“It’s on!” Marcus yelled and Jamie laughed as she watched the two men glaring at each other.

“Prepare to lose, again!” Josh exclaimed. He hit a button on his controller and the game started again.

Jamie laughed quietly as she watched the two men becoming instantly immersed in their battle. She had no idea why she had felt so nervous about how the atmosphere would be that morning. It was life as usual for the three of them; Marcus and Josh taking a break from the adult world and acting like teenagers, her rolling her eyes at the scene, while at the same time feeling blessed to have such an amazing partner and a best friend who hadn’t let sex get in the way of their friendship.


Late night masturbation… that leads to so much more

Well, my exams are all done for the year!  Now it’s just the long wait to see if I have passed all my papers so I can plan what will hopefully be the final year of my degree… we should just ignore the fact I am already considering degree #2 or some postgrad work.

While studying for my last exam I got a little inspired and sidetracked and wrote a little something which I will probably include in the (novel length) story I am writing at the moment, about Lanie and her polyamorous relationship with twin brothers Blake and Logan.  The story is still in its early days but I am enjoying writing it!

I haven’t posted anything for a few days so I wanted to share the little snippet that kept me from my exam study….  Enjoy!


It was 3am. After sleeping for maybe two hours at the most, Lanie was awake again and struggling to get back to sleep. She had tried counting sheep, she had tried a special muscle relaxation technique Blake swore by, she had tried shutting off her brain, she had even tried reading on her eReader but it was all to no avail; she was wide awake and frustrated.

As far as she was concerned there was only one thing left to try. Masturbation. Logan had a big week at work so waking him up for a little sexual relief wasn’t an option, she would just have to get the dirty thoughts flowing and use her fingers to send her to sleep.

Dirty thoughts or perhaps some on-mute porn on her cellphone. Yes, that seemed easier. Picking her phone up from beside the bed she turned it to silent and flicked to the bookmarks screen, tapping on the icon for her go-to porn website.

But what was she in the mood for? Lesbian? Threesomes? Gang bangs? Oral? Spanking? Who the hell was she kidding in pretending to consider other categories of porn? As usual she went straight to the ‘anal’ category and began scrolling through for a thumbnail that appealed. She found one and was about to tap ‘play’ when she realised she would need a particularly intense orgasm to send her to the land of nod. Taking this into consideration, Lanie reached over and took her bullet vibrator from the nightstand.

Logan didn’t stir as she did this and when she placed it against her clit then rolled onto her tummy and turned it on he remained completely oblivious. She was glad he was such a sound sleeper.

Her clit was already beginning to tingle and when she finally started the video the tingle turned into a dull throb. She skipped through the boring stuff and resumed the video when the two characters were naked. Lanie began to circle her hips in loose movements, the friction provided by the mattress beneath her adding to the thrumming vibrations of the bullet against her clitoris.

On screen the man was now pressing the tip of his cock against the woman’s asshole and Lanie instinctively began pressing her hips more firmly against the mattress, in need of the added stimulation.

Lanie groaned internally as the man pushed inside the woman’s ass. Lanie could feel her pussy getting wetter as she move her hips in tighter circles and opened her legs slightly, just enough to stretch her hole but not so much the bullet slipped out from between her labia. That was the last thing she needed!

On screen the couple were picking up the pace. Lanie’s pussy was starting to feel hot and swollen while her clitoris was pulsating and sending shocks of pleasure through her body.

Lanie’s toes began to curl as she felt her arousal moving on to a new phase – the pre-orgasm stage – when the pleasure became close to oberwhelming. She gripped the top of the mattress with her spare hand and tired to control her breathing knowing that if she could manage to stay silent the orgasm would be even more intense.

Her abdomen, hips and thighs were all rigid, providing more resistatnce against the mattress and therefore increasing the friction on her clit. How she wished she could scream!

Lanie almost screamed with shock when Logan suddenly moved on top of her. She had been so caught up in the video and the pleasure coursing through her she hadn’t been aware of Logan waking up. Lanie moved to turn the video off but before she could Logan stopped her.

“Keep watching it,” he whispered into her ear.

Lanie whimpered an ‘uh huh’ in response and did as she was told. Logan got onto his knees and when she heard a lid being popped open she almost came from the anticipation alone. He was lubing up, which only meant one thing.

A finger ran down between her ass cheeks and when she felt that finger gently massaging her tight hole she groaned loudly, tilting her hips backward so he could use more pressure.

The tip of his lubed finger slowly pressed inside her hole, the tight muscles stretching to accommodate the finger and making her want more. Seven inches more.

Her breaths were coming in pants and when she finally felt the rounded tip of his cock against her asshole she gripped onto the bottom sheet and cried out loudly.

Logan’s thick length felt divine as it slowly worked its way deeper into her and she had to resist the urge to get on all fours, knowing she would be rewarded with a killer orgasm if she kept as much friction on her clit as possible,

She couldn’t really focus on the porn video, her eyesight was going blurry and her eyes kept rolling back in her head. Every stroke of Logan’s cock was bringing her closer to the edge and as he started to move harder she dropped her phone and pressed her hands against the headboard.

The resistance allowed Logan to hit deeper and harder but it also allowed her to grind her hips more effectively against the mattress. Every muscle in her body began to tighten as her orgasm started to build. Any intention of a silent orgasm flew out the window and as she began crying out louder and louder, she had to brace her self for what was fast approaching.

Her pussy was sopping, her clit was aching, the feeling of fullness in her ass was only increasing with each stroke. She felt the very first orgasmic spasm in her clit and then screamed and writhed around beneath Logan as the full brunt of her orgasm struck.

She could feel it in her cunt and in her ass, she could feel it everywhere and it came wave after relentless wave until finally her body went still and the tension of orgasm was replaced by a soft, floaty feeling, a feeling of no longer being in her own body… just drifting.

When Logan pulled out of her she realised he had also cum. She had been so caught up in her own orgasm she had completely missed the chance to experience the feeling of Logan releasing his load into her.

She tried to form words, to tell him she loved him, that he had melted her brain, that she loved feeling him pressed against her like that, but all that came out was an incoherent mumble as sleep finally consumed her.


Lanie has a threesome with Blake and Logan

I would love to give all the background that led to me writing this, but we are heading away for the day and I am already running behind!
I have a feeling this may turn into a series because let’s face it, the background story is going to be rather intriguing.  After all, how does a woman end up in a relationship with identical twin brothers?
For now, I leave you with Lanie, Blake and Logan… enjoy!

Lanie stood before the door and nervously smoothed down her outfit. She was going for the ‘fake it til you make it’ thing and hoped her business-like outfit of black pencil skirt and red short sleeve shirt with ruffles down the middle would make her look more confident than she felt. In reality she had never been more nervous, excited, or anxious in her life.

Another knock on the door and she rolled her eyes, “Come on Lanie, get your shit together, you can do this,” she said to herself and before she could chicken out pulled the door open. Her knees went weak as she took in the doubly delicious sight of Blake and Logan.

“Hey gorgeous,” Logan said and held his arms out to Lanie.

“Hey yourself,” Lanie laughed as she stepped into his arms and inhaled his scent, manly and musky. She never could get enough of the Ralph Lauren cologne he wore.

“Oi, remember we are sharing tonight!” Blake chuckled from beside her and Lanie winked at him as she moved from Logan’s arms into his, loving the stark contrast of his Armani cologne which citrusy and fresh, making her think of summer.

“Wanna come in?” Lanie asked and mentally rolled her eyes… of course they wanted to come in.

“Inside or in you?” Blake asked wickedly and Lanie bit her lip.

“Both,” Lanie replied and turned back into the house, Blake and Logan following closely behind.

“Can I get either of you a drink?” Lanie asked stopping outside the door to the kitchen.

“Look at you playing the hostess,” Logan teased and Lanie shrugged.

“Just giving you time to back out,” Lanie managed to say with a straight face, knowing there was no way that was going to happen.

“You really think either of us is going to back out when you have been sending us filthy text messages all week?” Blake asked stepping behind her and moving her hair to the side so he could bite the crook of her neck.

“And those naughty pxts were pure wickedness,” Logan added putting his hands on her hips and stepping into her so she was effectively sandwiched between the two men.

“No idea what you’re talking about,” Lanie said innocently, biting back a whimper when the two men began kissing opposite sides of her neck.

The men managed to kiss and nip at her neck as the three of them made their way through to the bedroom, Lanie’s tormented whimpers and moans the only sounds in the house. As they walked, Logan was undoing the buttons on her shirt while Blake was unzipping the back of her skirt.

By the time they stepped into her bedroom her black sheer lace bra was on display and when Blake worked her skirt down over her hips, so were her matching panties. Lanie stepped out of her skirt and moved to take her red stilettos off, but Logan stopped her, whispering huskily in her ear that she should keep them on. Lanie smirked at him as she remembered he was the one with the stiletto fetish. Keep them on it was.

When her shirt dropped to the floor Lanie looked at both men with determination.

“Tops off, now,” she ordered, feeling a tight clench in her pussy when the two men did as was asked of them. To Lanie’s disappointment Blake never had the slightest hint of hair on his chest, but he was covered from neck to hips in tattoos, a major turn on for her. Logan, on the other hand, had no ink whatsoever, but he had the perfect amount of hair on his chest and seeing his treasure trail was enough to give her a mini-orgasm.

It was when they had their tops off that it was blatanly obvious which twin was which. Yeap. She didn’t have a boyfriend – she had two – and they were identical twin brothers. The idea of a threesome was something they had been toying with for a few months; Blake and Logan were both happy with the idea, but Lanie had needed longer to think about it. Ultimately though, she knew she could trust both men, and she would be lying if she said she wasn’t extremely curious about what it would be like to be in bed with both men at the same time.

And there they were!

Lanie wasn’t too sure what to say so rather than speak she moved closer to the two men so she could trail a hand down their chests and over their bellies before continuing south and dipping a hand in the waistband of each man’s pants. Logan groaned while Blake inhaled sharply. Both were looking at her intently waiting for her next move… which was to take her hands from inside their pants and pull each of their zippers down. The buttons of their jeans came undone next and she watched Blake and Logan shuffling out of their jeans and shoes, a burst of desire tearing through her body as she looked at them standing in their boxers.

They really were identical – the same wide shoulders, the same big arms, the same broad chests, the same powerful thighs – and they were all hers. She wasn’t sure how she’d got so lucky, even if it was they who claimed they were the lucky ones, an admission she always scoffed at.

Her hands drifted down their chests again and over their bellies, this time her hands settled on the two hardening bulges encased in their boxers. She gave them both a gentle squeeze followed by a not-so-gentle squeeze and bit her lip as both men groaned and gave her pleading looks. Pretending she was immune to their desperate looks Lanie snaked her fingers into the waistband of their boxers and slowly moved each hand lower and lower until she had a bare cock gripped in each fist.

Blake started to move against her hand while Logan put his hand around hers and made her grip him tighter. She had never felt more in charge in her life – it was a feeling she wasn’t used to – and she loved it.

The feeling of control disappeared when Logan slipped his fingers beneath the elastic of the crotch of her panties and brushed his finger against her wet folds. She wanted to pretend she was in no rush and that she wanted to take things slow, but her hips betrayed her and began moving against his hand. With her hand still inside his boxers, Blake moved in front of her and cupped her breast in his huge hand, his thumb swiping across the lace covered nipple and she let out a shuddery moan, arching her back in an attempt to push more of her boob into his hand.

Lanie gripped onto Blake’s shoulders when Logan added another finger to her pussy and began to rub her clit with his thumb. If she was standing much longer she knew she was going to collapse – there was only so much a girl could take before needing to writhe around naked beneath an equally naked man [or men as it were] – and that time was fast approaching.

She removed her hand from inside Blake’s boxers and pulled him forward at the shoulders so she could kiss him. His tongue swiped against hers and she groaned against his mouth as Logan began rubbing her clit in faster, harder circles. When Blake’s hands began to trail slowly down her sides Lanie found it hard to catch her breath, the featherlight touch of his fingertips was causing a throbbing ache deep inside her pussy and she was suddenly overcome by the need to have one of them – no, both of them – inside her.

The kissing deepened and she was sent into some form of sensory overload when she focused on the feeling of two hands on her sides and one hand between her legs. It felt incredible and intense and she wondered how she had waited so long to let both of them have her at the same time.

Blake dropped gently to his knees and when Lanie felt Logan’s hand leave her pussy she felt what could only be described as panic. Maybe they had changed their minds? When she felt the waistband of her panties being pulled down she sighed with relief. They weren’t leaving, they were taking her panties off. When her panties dropped to the floor Lanie stepped out of them and smiled nervously at Blake when he stood back up. It wasn’t that she was unsure, it was just that it was such a huge moment for her – for all of them – and it was hard not to feel nervous about what was to come!

Logan kissed the tip of her shoulder then kissed inward until he reached and kissed up her neck and along her jaw until he reached her lips. They kissed softly and slowly, and when Lanie felt Blake’s breath on her neck she turned so she could kiss him. The hunger in his kiss surprised her and she moaned as he tugged on her bottom lip with his teeth then resumed kissing her with even more hunger. The kiss came to a natural end and Lanie could sense the two men were feeling just as needy as she was.

She kicked off her stilettos before dropping to her knees between the men. She pulled down Blake’s boxers, followed by Logan’s, and wasn’t surprised when the moment she stood up Blake turned her around and undid her bra. It almost floated to the floor and as she turned around again she noticed a very familiar look of hunger on both men’s faces. It was identical.

“Ready for bed?” Blake whispered, pushing a stray strand of hair from her face and tucking it behind her ear.

“I’m very ready,” Lanie whispered.

“Come on then,” Logan smiled at her and took her hand. She and Logan walked around to one side of the bed while Blake went around the other side, when they were all in the bed she was in between the two men, and again was finding it hard to breathe.

Lanie wasn’t too sure what to do next but Logan and Blake made that a moot point by rolling in toward her and each taking one of her nipples in their mouths. She gasped and groaned as the men began sucking her nipples, both using slightly different techniques. Blake was flicking the tip of her nipple with his tongue, while Logan was running his tongue around the nipple in his mouth… on their own it would be enough to make her grip at the bedsheets and beg for more. The two of them at the same time felt like heaven. Overwhelming pleasurable heaven.

To try and slow down her response, Lanie moved her hands down until she found the two hard cocks she was so familiar with. As the men sucked and played with her nipples she squeezed their hard lengths, loving the way it felt when one of them groaned against her nipple, the reverberations spreading through her body and causing her clit to throb. The harder she squeezed them the harder they sucked and before long her room was full with a chorus of moans, groans, grunts and cries. Her hips were moving in tight circles and her legs were spreading of their own accord – it was as if her body was screaming out ‘please fuck me now!‘ – and her body was right, she was beyond ready.

“I… I need more,” Lanie said feeling flustered.

“Do you want both of us at the same time, or do you want us to take turns?” Blake asked sweetly and had she not been so turned on and aching for their cocks, she would have laughed.

“Both of you,” Lanie replied without needing to think about it.

Blake moved on top of her and began kissing her. She could feel his cock pressing against her slit but he made no attempt to press inside her, while they were kissing she was aware of Logan sitting up beside her and opening the bedside table. Again, had she not been so ready for their cocks she would have laughed and made a comment about there being no sexy way to say ‘sorry hunny I just need to get the lube out‘, but in that moment all she wanted was to feel two cocks deep inside her. In her opinion, he couldn’t lube up fast enough!

Blake moved off her as Logan lay back down and before she could say a word Logan was on top of her. Like with Blake, she could feel Logan’s cock pressing against her slit but he didn’t make any moves to enter her and instead kissed her nice and slowly. It was the type of kiss that would ordinarily have led to hours of love making, but not that night. She softly moaned against his mouth and her breath hitched when he lightly licked the inside of her top lip. That single contact sent pleasure coursing directly to her clit and she suddenly found it hard to not wrap her legs around his waist and pull him deep inside her cunt.

When they broke the kiss to catch their breath Lanie felt almost crazed with desire. She couldn’t just kiss anymore, she needed to be filled up with their cocks, to move against them, to feel them moving against her. She needed to cum, and badly.

A strong hand grabbed her hip and she felt a thrill of excitement tear through her as Blake rolled her so she was pressed right up against him. His cock was against her saturated slit and when he lifted her leg and put it over his hip she knew she was finally getting what she so badly wanted and needed. The thick head of his cock ran up and down between her swollen lips a few times and then stopped at her hole. Her breath hitched as she felt the first inch of him pressing inside her and then she groaned loudly when he pulled her against him as he pushed into her. Pleasure shot through her system and she silently willed him to begin moving hard and fast against her.

That was when she felt Logan’s lubricated fingers probing at her asshole. She moaned as he massaged the tight ring of muscle before pressing one finger inside her and sliding it in and out of her slowly, sending pleasurable waves deep into her pussy, which was clenching tightly around Blake’s cock. He added another finger and she moaned loudly, her hips bucking as her fingers dug into Blake’s arm. Logan’s fingers were soon replaced by the feeling of his cock against her tight opening and as he slowly and carefully inched his way inside her he groaned, she groaned, and Blake groaned, his hand digging into her hip.

For a few moments they were still, then Blake began kissing her and as a natural response her hips began moving against him. Blake began moving in time with her and Logan quickly found the right rhythm – both cocks were pulling out at the same time and both were pushing in at the same time – the feeling of fullness surpassed anything she had imagined and then there was the friction. God. She had never felt friction of an intensity like she felt in those moments.

Her clit was getting constant friction and the tight ring of muscle at the entrance to her ass was getting it too; what she hadn’t counted on was the internal friction caused by Logan’s and Blake’s cocks rubbing against her internal walls at the same time. The sensation caused by the friction was all encompassing, and the louder her moans and cries got, the faster the men moved against her, the more friction was created, and the louder she would moan and cry… it was a never ending circle of pleasure like she had never experienced before.

Logan was working his usual magic on her neck, licking and biting in exactly the right place to send bolts of electricity directly to her clit. She could feel that she was swollen and knew she was incredibly wet, the more her body responded, the more she felt the pleasure. What she would normally feel in her clit began spreading throughout her cunt and soon she felt a tight heat in her pussy. The heat only added to what she was feeling and when she started shrieking she hoped she could prolong things long enough to make Logan and Blake cum… she hated the idea of her being the only one who reached orgasm!

Blake was gripping onto her hip harder with each few thrusts and when he started grunting she felt relieved knowing it meant he was going to cum soon. Behind her Logan was panting, his breath coming hard and fast against her neck.

“Harder baby,” Lanie whispered to Logan and immediately he began to move his hips harder against her.

Whenever they had anal sex he waited until she told him it was okay to start moving harder… he had done it the first time they had it and it had become a bit of a habit for them. She loved that he cared so much about her, but then his brother was just the same – both were feisty in the sack – but also very gentle and caring, and always put her pleasure ahead of theirs.

Because Logan started moving harder, so did Blake, and Lanie quickly felt her orgasm building up. She knew it was going to be a big one because, rather than starting deep in her pussy, it started in her toes and spread upward, every muscle in her body tightening, and when it reached her cunt rather than the tension bursting free after a couple of seconds it kept building and building and building. Her pussy felt so tight around Blake she was afraid she might do him some damage, but his deep groans told her he was fine. Logan was grunting loudly in her ear and as his thrusts became even harder she put her arm behind her so she could grip onto his hip. She needed to be anchored to try and have some control over her orgasm.

There was so much tension in her cunt, it was almost unbearable. In fact it was. She had to stop. She had to…

Before she could decide what she had to do her orgasm hit with such impact she thrashed about and screamed loudly, she was conscious of nothing and of no one, the room was spinning, the bed was spinning, as far as she knew the world was spinning. In the murky depths of her vaguely-conscious brain she could hear and feel the two men cumming, Blake pressing deep into her cunt, Logan pressing deep into her ass, growling and groaning, roaring their release.

By the time Lanie came around, her cunt and ass were both empty. She was on her back with Blake and Logan were snuggled up against her – Blake was lazily stroking her thigh, Logan was peppering kisses on her shoulder – and she was trying to find the energy and mental capacity to talk, to turn her head, to move her toes.

She found no energy though – quite the opposite actually – she was falling asleep and didn’t want to because she wanted to enjoy the post orgasmic bliss with Blake and Logan… but she just… couldn’t… keep… her… eyes…… open.


Unexpected curiosity that led to empowerment

The brain really is an amazing (crazy, silly, bizarre) thing.  Close to a couple of months ago now, I posted a blog post entitled Is it BDSM or is it abuse?, in which I shared my personal story of sexual abuse.  Potentially the most traumatising aspect of my period of abuse, was the fact I was anally raped on more than one occasion.

It makes sense that because of this, the thought of anal sex was enough to make me feel sick and to send me into a depressive cycle.  Reliving the experience would bring me to tears, it would make me shake, it would set off a full blown anxiety attack.  Anal sex.  The thought of it disgusted me and whenever I saw mention of anal being pleasurable I would frown, scoff and shake my head.  Pleasurable?  No-fucking-way.

I met my wife and told her what had happened to me when I was 20, for the first time in my life I was actually able to talk about it in person, with someone who actually cared about me, and was more than willing to listen to what I had to say.  It felt good to be able to get it out of my system, to be able to release some of the pressure I was feeling inside my head, pressure that had built up over years of keeping my mouth shut and keeping it all inside.

Fast forward to a couple of months ago.  I was in bed with my wonderful wifey, we were fooling around… I started to get carried away by the way she was making me feel (y’know, about a second away from screaming so loudly the neighbours would possibly ring the cops) and suddenly in my little pre-orgasmic fantasy I was having anal sex.

What.  The.  Fuck?

I didn’t tell her straight away.  In fact, I planned on not telling her because I felt embarrassed and even a little ashamed.  After all the trauma I had been through, there I was, getting off on the idea of having anal sex.  It just didn’t compute.

I couldn’t stop thinking about it though, and suddenly became very curious about anal sex.  Surely if so many people could vouch for it being pleasurable, well… maybe it could be?  A couple of days later we were in bed talking, and for whatever reason the discussion turned to anal sex… I likely mentioned not understanding how it could be pleasurable, and she told me that in her experiences it had indeed felt good.  I believe it was then that I admitted my curiosity to her… and told her I felt like I had been short changed, because what could potentially have been a pleasurable experience had been ruined for me because of one bastard of an ex.

We continued talking and I truly don’t remember how we got there, but she suggested I could write a
m/f/m threesome scene with double penetration… y’know, it could be a kind of therapeutic way to ‘experience’ anal sex in a controlled environment, where I was in charge. It made sense to me, and I decided to go for it.  I researched a little, I spoke more to my wife about her experiences, and then I was ready to write.  But I had no idea what positions to put my characters in…

So we watched porn for inspiration.  Most of our time was spent laughing at how fake it was, rolling our eyes because of the cliché nature of the storylines… but then there was a scene or two that caught my eye, and after watching rather than feeling repulsed, I felt… well, quite the opposite.

After this night my curiosity grew and after writing my scene (and having a bloody good time doing so), I really started to feel pissed off that I would never experience anal as something pleasurable.  During one of our many discussions in bed, I eventually confessed this to my wife… and I don’t remember a lot about it, but eventually we decided perhaps it was something we could explore further together.  I still felt embarrassed, but my curiosity started to outweigh my embarrassment… and one day while relaxing in bed things got a little heated.  There was touching.

Touching like I had never given or received before.  It was relaxed and slow, and more than enough to make me realise I wanted to explore even further, at some point.  Okay, it felt amazing when she was touching me, and I was amazed that being touched there could bring me so much pleasure.  Equally I was surprised when I was touching her, that she got just as turned on as if I was touching her clit.  We didn’t even go ‘all the way’, there was just finger pressure, no insertion…  I knew I  wanted to go further at some stage, but that there was no rush.

It finally happened this week.  A month, maybe a bit more after that first little bit of touching I got up the guts to tell my wife my curiosity was getting too much for me and that I wanted to explore further.

I have never ever felt so shy in my life as I felt telling my wife I wanted to put my finger inside her ass.  I had no idea how to go about it, hell, I didn’t even know what to do with the lube… just the finger? the butthole too?  Was our strawberry lube okay, or should we use that other tube of lube we were given (neither have been used before, both were gifts!)?

Eventually we got there.  I did something to my wife that  I never in a million years imagined I would do to her.  More to the point, it was something I never imagined wanting to do.  But I did.  And I enjoyed it 100% more than I thought I would.  She didn’t ask me to stop, she didn’t say it wasn’t working for her… and when I made her orgasm, it was possibly the most proud I have ever felt of any orgasm I have given her!  Can one be proud of an orgasm?

I think I felt ‘proud’ of the orgasm, because for me, it was symbolic of me overcoming something that had been incredibly traumatic, and had had a hugely negative impact on my life.  Afterward I couldn’t stop grinning, hell, I even giggled for a while.  My wife looked amused and asked why I appeared so happy, and I told her it was because I had replaced a horrible, terrifying memory, with a pleasurable, happy memory.  It was like I was saying to my ex ‘you no longer have any control over me, or this aspect of my sexuality’.

I don’t know what will happen next, or when it will happen… all I know is that I feel so incredibly lucky to have such a special woman in my life, who has helped me to heal when I didn’t think it would ever be remotely possible.

A little teaser from my first m/f/m threesome

Because polyamory is a theme in a lot of my stories, I have written more than my fair share of
threesomes… however, they have ALL consisted of two women and one man.  Deciding it was time to branch out, I recently wrote my first threesome scene with two men and one woman.  Not only did I write my first m/f/m threesome, I also wrote my first scene containing anal sex!  That was a big thing for me, and I have to admit, it was more enjoyable to write than I thought it would be!

As it stands right now, this particular story could work as the first in a series of short stories, OR as a scene from a novel.  I haven’t quite decided which route to take with this series?/novel?, but decided that while I make up my mind, I would share a tiny teaser of the tentatively titled ‘With Friends Like These’.

This little excerpt involves Jamie, her boyfriend Josh, and their best friend Marcus.  Jamie has had a m/f/m fantasy for a long time, and for her 32nd birthday, Josh has arranged for that little fantasy to come true, with Marcus the other ‘m’ in the equation.  Clearly the friendship between Jamie, Josh and Marcus is a special one!



It didn’t take much for Jamie to get carried away. Having two cocks at her mercy gave her an arousing sense of power and the groans and moans coming from Josh and Marcus spurred her on to pump them both faster. She probably could have used her hands until they both got off, but that wasn’t how she wanted the night to end for the two men. She wanted their night to end when they were both buried deep inside her, spent, after filling her with their cocks and their cum. Both men were like steel in her hands, and her pussy was beyond sopping wet… she knew they were all ready to take the next step.

Jamie broke off the kiss she and Josh were sharing and smiled softly at him. ‘I love you,’ she mouthed and Josh gave her an adoring look as he mouthed ‘I love you’ back. It was time. She knew it, he knew it, and turning around to look at Marcus, the wild look on his face suggested he knew it was well. Lying down, Jamie rolled onto her side and smiled at Marcus, then lightly pressed her lips against his and immediately felt her pussy reacting. His cock was solid against her belly, while Josh’s was equally as hard, pressing against the small of her back as he kissed along the back of her shoulders and traced lazy circles on her hip.

The kiss between her and Marcus became more passion-fuelled and instinctively Jamie pressed her hips against him. His body felt so strong and hard against her own, familiar, safe… yet at the same time something she felt detached from. Josh pressed up behind her and when she felt the tip of his cock nudge against the crack of her ass she let out an anticipatory moan as flashbacks of his cock moving slowly in and out of her ass flooded her memory. At the same time, the length of Marcus’s cock was pressing against her slit, the pressure causing her cunt to clench uncontrollably. She needed Josh. She needed Marcus. Every single nerve in her body was craving the feeling of their cocks.